Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Befriending Your Elders ; )

I cannot believe I have not blogged since November! Usually someone has to say something to me to inspire me to write. Things are always said to me that inspire me in one way or another; I just haven’t wanted to write a rant lately. Yesterday though, someone did say something that made my thoughts start rolling, so here goes.

A lady was talking to me about some mutual friends we have and she said she had asked someone how we were friends because there was quite a bit of an age difference. Actually the age difference is about 17 years. I was a less than surprised to realize that this is unusual for some people, but let me assure you, true friendship does not know age. As I have learned over the years, what is shared in that friendship bridges the gap.

Some of my closest and definitely my most trusted friends are at least 7 plus, years older than me. These are the ones that have never broken my trust, always been there for me anytime, day or night and never judged me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that these ladies love me. They have taught me how to survive motherhood, marriage, death and even the ballpark. They have physically removed me from situations that I found myself in and tried their best to keep me on the right path and never ceased to pick me up and dust me off when I took detours along that path. While I was a young married I looked at some of these women and thought they had the perfect life. But when we became friends they weren’t afraid to show me the reality of adult life. They never let me believe they were better than me or they had all the answers. They allowed me to know their struggles and because of that, I learned from their successes and their mistakes. I won’t say I didn’t make some of the same mistakes myself, but when I did they knew. Their consistency in our friendship never wavered.

One of the most important things I have learned through their friendship is how to be a friend as an adult. Some adults still revel in teen drama in their friendships. They get mad for crazy reasons, or get their feelings hurt at the drop of a hat. They either don’t know or forget what true friendship is; Knowing, trusting and believing in your friend enough to be able to not have to ask what is real. You just know! It can be forgiveness, but generally in real friendships, forgiveness is not often not necessary because you accept each other flaws and all. I have been blessed to have younger friends come into my life and desire to be the friend to them that mine have been to me. I want to always be real for them. I don’t want to present myself to them as perfect because that is false. No one is and it makes you inaccessible to some. As I have said a million times before, I believe God expects us to learn from our experiences and share them with those coming behind us.

My younger friends who have trusted in me and listened to my stories, especially my “gothic”, make that “exotic” dark haired friend are true gifts to me. What would I do with all my so called wisdom if they had not come into my lives? I don’t know that I deserve them, but I don’t think they are part of my world by accident. It’s my chance to give what was given to me and I am beyond thankful for it. Truthfully, I do think I am pretty dang wise sometimes, although I often push wisdom aside and go for fun. So thank you my wise older friends for sharing your wisdom with me. You know who you are. You know that I absolutely adore you. I cannot imagine the pile of crap my life would be without you showing me that we all trudge through crap sometimes and every now and then we might even come out with the lingering scent of it on us but there is always a friend to hold your hand, to laugh at and with you whose love is faithful.